I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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