just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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