Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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