Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
