Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
