Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
