i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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