did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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