Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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