So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize