perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
