We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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