my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize