his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
