Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
