It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
