so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
