I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
