dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My balls are so social today.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
