Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You don't make any sense
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