I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
