One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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