She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
