Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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