I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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