You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
