I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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