Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize