doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
