I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
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Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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