Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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