Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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