Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
