just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize