Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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