I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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