I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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