Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
