I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
