are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
