If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
