I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
