I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
