dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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