i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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