So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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