Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
