Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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