it was like eating out sand paper
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
