So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
