I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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