god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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