Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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