He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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