quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
