he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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