Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
