Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
