Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
