i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
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it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize