Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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